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November 6, 2017 at 4:58 pm #360532
Thanks. Yeah I am very happy and lucky with such an awesome month. Recived a lot of support from close people.
I am glad you love my videos. I guess he was more than annoyed here and there. 😀 😀 Before he had stable, he had some sorrow moments when I was grinding him. If he missed something at one coaching I got back with it and grinded it over and over again until I got all the answers. Kind of harsh for feeling player 😉November 6, 2017 at 8:48 pm #360587
Join date: 2019/09/02
Congratulations!November 7, 2017 at 12:11 pm #360760
Dzięki 😉November 13, 2019 at 8:40 pm #508523
„And what guarantee do you have of a longer life? Who will allow your course to proceed as you arrange it? Aren’t you ashamed to keep for yourself just the remnants of your life, and to devote to wisdom only that time which cannot be spent on any business? How late it is to begin really live just when life must end! How stupid to forget our mortality, and put off sensible plans to our fifties and sixtieth years, aiming to begin life from a point at which few have arrived!”
It’s a powerful part that really hit me. I’ve read his book 4-5 times now and somehow this part passed me. I love to go back to philosophy when traveling. Traveling brings you perspective on itself. You see different life, different paradigms, different way of live, of course as long as you don’t travel hermetically. People do their best to standardize everything, with money you can have very similar experience in most countries. You can be somewhere, without interacting with place, have you really left your home then?
Saying that it’s not a point that I am writing about. I feel that that traveling with philosophy is traveling on steroids. Your brain is just bombed and contradict what you are doing, why are you doing it and how are you doing it. Seneca thought hit me like a hammer because I wasn’t alive for last 4-5 months. I realized it, when I was walking down in Geneva, hangover after France, tiered and under slept after 5h of sleep 3 days in a row, cold, hungry and a bit wet. We were going to Geneva “Greenwich Village” called Carouge. We were going to eat there after nice, long walk with cold air and wind. We were there at 14:20. Why does it matter? Because restaurants there are open 12:00-14:00, then open again at 19:00. In the meantime, you can get drunk, you can not eat. Somewhere close to that time I got rekted by Swiss phone charges, 40 USD gone from my card, I am not able to call or use internet. Way to go Switzerland!!!
While going back to the city center, feeling blue and cold, I’ve realized I am alive. Seneca words came back to my mind and I was pondering about them. I’ve realized how much inner power we have, and how much time we spend on being distracted rather than feel alive. I am going to go back to reflecting on my life a bit more. I even lost daily meditation habit some time ago, after almost 2 years (again ALMOST – fuck that word, who cares that 3 weeks left, it’s still 1 year of meditation) I stopped doing it for like a month now. Blogging also always helped me go back on track. I’ve been through some shit in the past, but what was happening for last 2 years is a lot, especially last 4-5 months the project I was working on put us under tons of pressure, frustration and challenging times. It’s the first time in my entire life I feel a need for a clean slate. We are moving to Mexico for a while, one-way ticket, another continent might help leaving it all behind. Forget, forgive, move on. I am posting my graph from before that project, just because it’s nice for eye:January 9, 2020 at 12:08 pm #511880
“You act like mortals in all you fear, and like immortals in all you desire.”
Last two years, were really, really rough. It was a lot of stuff that psychologist call either improvement crisis or life crisis. In just two years I:
Became a father
Became a husband
We’ve bought apartment, planned and prepared everything ourselves.
I almost die, I was on bicycle when car hit me, crushed it window.
Change a profession I was lucky to get to know people with very good contacts, for life and online games so I needed to learn 6 and 9max
I was asked for favor and helped with startup, worked 50h+ weekly for few months what decreased my earnings by a lot I am saying earning 20-30% of what I was earning on average month.
Business investments didn’t work out. (Even after knowing outcome I am still fine with the odds)
One other stressful personal situation that I don’t want to share.
Was ill 7 times in that period (Beside last two years I was ill 2 times last 9 years…)
Some are bigger changes / stressors, some are smaller. Each of them can be dealt with on their own but when they spam together in very short period and most of them happened in one year it becomes challenging. You have literally no way to deal with it in a healthy manner, you fight for survive. The fight didn’t go well, I went from 94kg to 107kg (the fattest I ever were was around 98kg, never above 100kg), lost habit of meditating daily. The worst part is some kid of snowball effects, you lose one good habit, after another, after another. Than you have fight to get them all back.
Three weeks ago I twisted my ankle, what doesn’t help if you want to lose some fat. Doctor said it will take a week to walk without bandage, I made it in three days. I am determinate to go after it. I am at 103.2kg, not great but going into right direction, because I twisted my ankle, I added ankle exercise to my gym to make it STRONGER than before contusion, will take some time but well. I have to rebound. That’s what I am gonna do with every single thing that suffered. I am grinding only nl100 now because I had a few months break and I have to go back into flow and remind myself how to play well but 2 fish at the table help. I also went back to meditating, which is also very cool.
I am super grateful for support of close people, especially over that time period and I am super grateful that we are not a couple who BS ourselves about problems with having a kid and we went to Mexico with 13 months child and didn’t use it for excuse to stay at home and watch tv. Lately philosophy really helps me deal with it. The other thing I am pondering is Charles Dickens: “Suffering has been stronger than all other teaching…. I have been bent and broken, but – I hope – into a better shape.” Anyway enough of this, here are some photos from Mexico:
The last one was funny. I was swimming in the cenote, even though I don’t know how to swim. I just couldn’t resist of swimming with fish, in nice clear water, with waterfall. It made me feel primarily but in a very nice, restful way (aside from fact that adrenalin was pumping through my blood because I was afraid that I’ll drown….. :D)
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